May 19, 2013 02:39 UTC

What's Your Advice? / Friends

Man, 23, India: Thinks he has an inferiority complex

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06/04/2012

Up to age 15, I studied in my small village. I stayed with my family and I had almost no problems in life. In 2007 I entered college. But I didn't make any friends and was very reserved. I only talked to my roommates and didn't talk to any girls in college. The problem is I can talk but I didn't try to.

From 2008-2010 I stayed in a room with one boy. He was really a jerk. He didn't care about others' feelings. He used to scold me, but no one should point out when he did anything wrong. He was also a miser.

After the completion of my engineering degree, I didn't have any job. But I have been kind of practicing how to develop games. I don't know what's my future. But definitely I think what I am doing is not correct. I want to talk to people especially girls who are beautiful and strangers to me walking on the road.

But I have some kind of inferiority complex or something. I can't go and talk to them. I don't know how to get along with the conversation and get their contact information.

I have some friends from school near my place, but I do not get together with them. The problem if I stay with a person in the room is that I wake up at 6 a.m. and go to sleep at 10 or 10:30 p.m. and I hate smoking and drinking. But many friends are the reverse. They get up very late and go to sleep after midnight, and if they keep the lights on I can't sleep. So I decided to stay alone. But I am not happy alone. I get strange thoughts, like wanting to destroy the entire world while I am alone. But I never know what to say to people or how to greet them.

Please give me advice.

Tags: Friends

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by: shaday from: Mexico
12/15/2012 5:35 PM
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Hi man, maybe it is time to follow the advice of Samuel Ramos, a mexican philosopher, who recommend to adjust our will with our power, this only to avoid feelings of inferiority.

by: julio cesar escobar ramos from: mexico
10/24/2012 2:58 AM
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hello i believe you need to know that you are ecual that everybody. because you are important, dont worry by the people thinks, remember yuo are a special person follow been the same person. i hope that i can helped you.

by: chris from: Brazil
10/22/2012 8:30 PM
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Hello, hey my friend, actually you need to know a bit more about you. Usually you won't get along with the most people if you don't know yourself. I think that you need to love and comprehend your heart, your soul. I can say i've had some problems like you some years ago by the time i was between 20 and 25. I was afraid to talk to girls and i was sad about that. So, i did like that, i started reading a little more about relationships, dates, human behavior, ways of acting, happyness, sadness, anxiety, unsafe. Our day to day to deal with experiences which we've had before. It's needed to back to the begining and so we can heal this harm which bothers us.

by: Daniel Buitrago from: Colombia
09/30/2012 8:01 PM
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Hey man you have to watch out just because you have difficulties to get along people you musn't think about destroy feelings. What you have to do is try to involve in social interactions. For example, in my case I also consider myself a shy a lonely person and I know is difficult to make relationships with people you don't know but there are other simple ways for instance start talking with people at your workplace, university, or the place you stay most of the time it is easy to approach them because if you are sharing a place with someone is because maybe he/she has some things in common with you like, the profession, likes and dislikes so try to talk about those topics with them.

by: Amrita from: Pittsburgh
08/10/2012 1:25 AM
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Don't worry. You sound like a nice and thoughtful person. I think [eople meet you and they think you are quiet, but probably nice and thoughtful. You can be shy and friendly at the same time.

The best advice is to listen to people. Ask how are you, and then ask what's going on, or what happened. Ask people about their day, their thoughts, what they like and what they don't like. When you listen to people, they listen to you, and they decide to be your friend. Care about them, do nice things for them. Bring food to them as a friendly gesture.

As for girls, just listen and try to be their friend, and then they will trust you and like you.

Sometimes all of us are angry, feel insecure, and many of us think about destroying things. It's ok. You are still a good person, and you will be a good friend to many more people.

In Response
by: shaday from: mexico
12/15/2012 5:58 PM
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hi Amrita, I liked your opinion, I think it is very objective. However, many people, I include myself, are lazy to be just like you recommend because it is more comfortable, but I think we must start with ourselves, I mean, we must respect us, demand us, improve us, care for us, etc, to feel better with us and so feel better with the other.

by: tevry from: moscow
07/03/2012 7:37 AM
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hello! you shouldn't be so shy. moreover, you shouldn't be afraid of other people. evidently, we all are the same, we have the same habits, do similar mistakes. so now you don't have valid arguments. just try!