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Woman, 36, Brazil: "Would a marriage work without passion?"

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Last updated at: 03/21/2012 9:35 AM

I had a relationship for eight months and got pregnant. We married for that reason. I liked it but did not feel real love. Our marriage lasted four years. And after a while I started dating a classmate from college and got engaged. I'm with him for four years. But it's a complicated relationship, full of comings and goings. He has a temperament that is very difficult, and there have been betrayals and other disappointments. But love and passion is not over.

My ex-husband became my best friend. He is a mature man, good, and still loves me. It would be perfect if I could re-marry him. But I do not feel passion or physical attraction to him. Would a marriage work without passion? Or is it for love that I could continue with my boyfriend and try to stay in separate houses, as I know it's not right with him on a daily basis?

What do I do?

 

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by: ANCI
04/18/2012 9:54 PM
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I agree with WAKA, stop pretending that you are a victim of love, you had a good opportunity with a kind man and you betrayed him, now you love someone who is just having a great time without serious pretentions...for all bad things that we do in life , we´ll have to pay a high price...sometimes we have to listen to our heart but think twice before taking a decision.

by: Eiky Liu
03/22/2012 10:50 AM
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No, if so, it will breakout soon... I think

by: SC
03/21/2012 4:21 AM
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Reading your words, you are a knowledgeable woman, it's not difficult to get a job in your country. When you are working, you will get less sad, maybe your thinks would change. At that time you should consider your situation again, if this Japenese man is so important to you.Then you can decide. If i was you, i would divorce him. him.Nowadays, independence and selfesteem are so important to woman.

by: chrls
03/20/2012 12:37 PM
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It´s a mistake that you love people if you don´t love to yourself at first. Life is to live strongly with passion and looking hapiness in everything we do and not to live upset. So you don´t deserve to live with someone who really doesn´t love you. Worst if he´s a person who loves her brother´s wife. Make changes in your life to live alone, try to get a job and meet new people.

by: S
03/17/2012 8:51 AM
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You are seemingly very weak. Loving a person who doesn't love you is a solid proof of self-disgrace. Move on and stop being a retard. Grow up !

by: Bich Phuong
03/16/2012 9:34 PM
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I have not got marriged yet. However, I have seen a lot of stories as you. I think if you c ontinue to live with him , you will not be happy. Although he does not love you as much as that woman, he still takes care of you. You must make an appointment with that woman. Then you should tell her about your feelings, I think that woman will understand and go away from your husband. If that woman do not share your feelings, I think you must divorce your husband and return Viet Nam.

by: cù hoàng hưng
03/14/2012 6:01 AM
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i think you your husband does not deserve with your love. you should make a dicision that leave him, and return viet nam. you needn't stand this pain. your life is very long. there are many men and in these really there is a man who will bring to you happiness and love you.
let's go. you must be more optimistic.

by: Hien
03/13/2012 9:53 PM
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I am the same age w/ you and I got married to Japanese, too. I know Japanese man has high responsibility for what he did and Japanese is very kind, too. So don`t worry about your future. For man, the first love is not easy to forget. But both of them already chose their own way. Maybe their relationship is just close friend now so dont worry but give him private space , be gentle and keep loving him. I believe he will realize who is the most important person in his life.

by: Kashi
03/13/2012 6:54 PM
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Please consider the reason why you still love him. Your husband doesn't look at you any more and only hurts you. He is just married with you, because his mother told him so. He doesn't have his will.
You should get divorce with him and get a compensation.
If I were you, I would get many evidence of their infidelity, email, photos and voice records, and sue him. Furhtermore I would send them to his brother. In Japan, if someone does an infidelity, his or her spouse can get a compensation.

by: mata
03/13/2012 6:20 AM
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Everybody has a heart break at past some times a human can not understand the reals. Give time to your husband to see the reality... If you pressure him a lot you may lost him easily... Give him some chances to see your love...

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