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Woman, 32, China: Eager for love, but scared of it

I have a big problem with falling in love. I don't trust love. It seems that I've never trusted the existence of true love.

Once upon a time, I felt love was the happiest thing in the world the moment I saw couples as well as their children enjoying splendid time together. But now I feel love is a demon who can drag your to hell and you will be tortured over and over again until you are dying.

How can I get through this? I am eager for love. Meanwhile, I am scared of it.